Should I Go To the Opera? A Beginner’s Guide

A lot of people say "Hey Mikey, you know some stuff about music, what's up with Opera? Is it fun, and also can I borrow $140 dollars to go see one?" Up until yesterday, my answer would be "please leave me alone, I don't know you, I'm very poor, and I've never been to an…Read more Should I Go To the Opera? A Beginner’s Guide

Prague: For Sad Clowns Only, and Maybe Also Terror-Cats, I Guess

"Prague is a wonderful city." "Prague is 1 of my most fav cities." "Lol omg u go to Prague rolf is 2 good" Such are the feelings expressed on the city where I now take a breather before descending into Berlin, which will undoubtedly be a hailstorm of action, concerts, and german people thinking I…Read more Prague: For Sad Clowns Only, and Maybe Also Terror-Cats, I Guess

Area Man Goes to 34 Concerts, Is Still Lost in Prague

Oh, the deep sense of loss that I have covered so much ground without having time to properly write about it. Thus, many of my memories will go unexpressed to you, dear reader. You will never know my surprise and whittling joy at riding an oven-like train for six hours into Romania, or the fear…Read more Area Man Goes to 34 Concerts, Is Still Lost in Prague

Black Metal In Paradise

CPH, you so crazy. After staying for about a week in one of the "happiest places on earth", I definitely felt as though the dream of blinding and interminable bliss was unattainable for me. Despite my positivity, despite my openness and willingness to smile at olde people (even when they scowl back because they apparently think…Read more Black Metal In Paradise

Area Man Hears Mechanical Chicken of Youth, Turns 5

If there was a sound who's contours have remained nearly perfectly etched into my adult brain despite over two decades of absence, it was the clucking of a giant, mechanical chicken that lived in a glass box in a local sporting goods store. In the two-floor emporium of guns (and even a shooting range), fishing gear,…Read more Area Man Hears Mechanical Chicken of Youth, Turns 5

The Innkeeper Retires: Roll Credits

After 108 mystical days, my service is now complete as the Innkeeper of Alaska. It has at times been frustrating, transcendent, boring, and thrilling. It was uniformly cold. A great portion of my time as the Innkeeper was spent in hiding, reclusively retreating to my hermitage to mutter expletives about the guests under my breath.…Read more The Innkeeper Retires: Roll Credits

Loaves of Sourdough Encased In Ice (Goodbye Alaska)

Apparently spring officially began a few days ago, which feels about right. I had noticed a sharp rise in birdsong, non-lethal temperatures had begun to make appearances, and we were getting about 17 minutes of extra daylight every day. On my morning walk, I noticed that I could at last see chunks of gravel and the…Read more Loaves of Sourdough Encased In Ice (Goodbye Alaska)