Prague: For Sad Clowns Only, and Maybe Also Terror-Cats, I Guess

"Prague is a wonderful city." "Prague is 1 of my most fav cities." "Lol omg u go to Prague rolf is 2 good" Such are the feelings expressed on the city where I now take a breather before descending into Berlin, which will undoubtedly be a hailstorm of action, concerts, and german people thinking I…Read more Prague: For Sad Clowns Only, and Maybe Also Terror-Cats, I Guess

Vienna: Mo’ Money, Mo’Zart

Arriving in Vienna was suspiciously painless. It is almost as though I have finally mastered the art of endlessly navigating new public transit systems. Also, my ability to magnetize strangers to pity/assist me has risen to an all-time high. I have become a beacon of obvious confusion towards which the culturally-moored direct their assistance. I have been…Read more Vienna: Mo’ Money, Mo’Zart

Black Metal In Paradise

CPH, you so crazy. After staying for about a week in one of the "happiest places on earth", I definitely felt as though the dream of blinding and interminable bliss was unattainable for me. Despite my positivity, despite my openness and willingness to smile at olde people (even when they scowl back because they apparently think…Read more Black Metal In Paradise

Copenhagen: Fokes with Spokes

And thus Feeled Recordings stepped into the global arena as I departed the United States. Norwegian Airlines: Not For The Thrifty of Heart I arrived in Copenhagen after approximately 10 hours on a Norwegian Air flight that did not include water or any food. It was like being in a flying prison that I elected to…Read more Copenhagen: Fokes with Spokes

Area Man Hears Mechanical Chicken of Youth, Turns 5

If there was a sound who's contours have remained nearly perfectly etched into my adult brain despite over two decades of absence, it was the clucking of a giant, mechanical chicken that lived in a glass box in a local sporting goods store. In the two-floor emporium of guns (and even a shooting range), fishing gear,…Read more Area Man Hears Mechanical Chicken of Youth, Turns 5

The Innkeeper Retires: Roll Credits

After 108 mystical days, my service is now complete as the Innkeeper of Alaska. It has at times been frustrating, transcendent, boring, and thrilling. It was uniformly cold. A great portion of my time as the Innkeeper was spent in hiding, reclusively retreating to my hermitage to mutter expletives about the guests under my breath.…Read more The Innkeeper Retires: Roll Credits

Loaves of Sourdough Encased In Ice (Goodbye Alaska)

Apparently spring officially began a few days ago, which feels about right. I had noticed a sharp rise in birdsong, non-lethal temperatures had begun to make appearances, and we were getting about 17 minutes of extra daylight every day. On my morning walk, I noticed that I could at last see chunks of gravel and the…Read more Loaves of Sourdough Encased In Ice (Goodbye Alaska)