Perhaps you’ve pondered under the twilight sky:
“O that I might be captured, that my essence might be distilled into a thing of comprehensible beauty to treasure for the ages, or until my hard-drive crashes.”
If you have, indeed, wondered this very wonder, you have stumbled into the correct craigslist listing in the greater New Orleans area. For the price of 2 dollars, (or for free, for those in poverty of wallet, of not of the soul) I, a pretty regular and generally likable sort of person, will compose, record, and send you you a crystalline work of majesty. It will likely be 2-3 minutes, and I’ll try not to swear too much, and it will likely contain acoustic guitars and cellos, and maybe a maraca. I can omit the maraca upon request.
What I would need from you, the subject of said composition, is either:
B: Any relevant (or totally irrelevant) pieces of information or aspects of your life/character that might direct my process in some way.
And that’s pretty much all there is to it. I will send you an mp3. Or if you’re super weird about opening attachments in emails or something, I could probably burn it to a CD? But that takes a lot of effort.
I am doing this because it will enrich all of our lives, and maybe in like 30 years, I’ll be be able to retire on a very bizarre career path.
Thanks, and choose wisely.
PS Yes, I can send you a sample of previous work before you commit the whole $2.00. And yes, I can put you in touch with my mother if you would like my backstory, a reference, or information about why her neighbors are so nosy. Below are a few sample pieces. Contact me via telepathy or the “contact” tab.